PARENT- Job DescriptionThis is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I don't believe any of us would have done it!
POSITION :Mom, Mommy, Mama, MaDad,
Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sportstournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :The rest of your life.Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :None.Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :None required unfortunately.On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :Get this! You pay them!Offering frequent raises and bonuses.A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more..
BENEFITS :While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are appreciated for the fabulous job they do.OR forward with love to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
** AND A FOOTNOTE 'THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!
She even dressed in her camo too support the two hunters: Papa and Grandpa.
I couldn't wait to show her how we feed the squirrels our pancakes:)
We took a walk and caught this tiny horny toad.
Iv's and Saw had so much fun in the play pen. They would talk, scratch, and cry with each other:)
Nothing better than spending time with grandpa at the cabin! 
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This little PEANUT, finally hit the 13 pound mark this morning:) She is growing so fast. Ivorie, now tries to reach for you when you walk by her, she is a very happy baby. Loves to smile, laugh, and sing. The last 5 months have been the best 5 months of our lives. Happy 5 months baby girl.
Check out the new Tom that will be hanging on our wall;)
And our dinner one of these nights.
Thanks again Bub and Iv's for such an enjoyable mothers day. I sure love you:)
